Narf!
by Bill Martin

1997


Working at the check out stand gives a person a front row seat for noticing strange and ridiculous things. Since the Change about 8 months ago I've noticed a huge increase in such occurrences. Like last week where the hairless Hi-D snake came in last week buying just three bottles of anti-dandruff hair conditioner, asking if it would stain scales. Or the sleepy, nearly hibernating, bear morph that came and loaded up on packages of No-Doze last winter. And the fact that all tortoises without exception head straight toward the express lane no matter how many items are in their cart.

And now these two impossibly small lab mice morphs, going through the checkout stand with a shopping cart filled with a 100 boxes of anti-static dryer sheets and 50 cans of lima beans. While counting the boxes and cans I tried to be conversational and asked why the two smallest mice morphs I've seen who aren't even wearing any clothes would need dryer sheets. I must have accidentally struck a nerve because they definitely didn't tell me the truth.

"Sir, we're really escaped lab mice buying these items for an intricate plan to take over the world."

"Narf!"

If they didn't want to tell me they could have just said so.



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