The Drill
by J. (Channing) Wells

1997


(The Low-D Bullmastiff Drill Sergeant approaches a hapless new recruit.)

D.S. SIMMONS!

SIMMONS: YES SAH!

D.S. Papers say you're from Texas, Simmons!

SIMMONS: YES SAH!

D.S. Only two things come from Texas, Simmons, in my recollection. Steers and Queers! Which one are you?!

SIMMONS: (Perfectly Deadpan) A STEER, SAH!

D.S. Watch those horns, Private.

(The Drill Sergeant moves on.)

D.S. SONDERS!



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